1
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:08,240
- Good morning.
- Morning, Willie, Kate.
2
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:09,608
Hi, ALF.
3
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:11,844
- What are you cooking?
- It's a surprise.
4
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:14,346
- Oh, no.
- Relax.
5
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:17,316
It's just my
June bug scaloppini.
6
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,687
Hence the crackling noise.
7
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,758
You're frying June bugs?
8
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:26,892
Please, Willie.
9
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:28,827
You fry caterpillars.
10
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:31,864
June bugs you saute.
11
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,200
Go, sit.
12
00:00:37,772 --> 00:00:39,204
Good morning.
13
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,305
Hi, Lynnie.
14
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,408
Mm, what smells so good?
15
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,610
June bug scaloppini.
16
00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:47,146
I'll grab juice.
17
00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:50,883
[sniffing]
ALF, do you have
something in the oven?
18
00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:53,252
Brian's history book.
19
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:54,686
What?
20
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,021
Someone accidentally knocked it
21
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:58,757
into his fish tank, Willie.
22
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,559
I didn't do it!
23
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,028
I didn't say you did. I did it.
24
00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:05,230
So I put it in the oven to dry.
25
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,767
Dad, he's kidding.
26
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:15,574
Oh, no! No!
27
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,976
I'm, I'm doomed!
28
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:19,578
You got that right.
29
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,046
For Melmacians
30
00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:24,716
it's bad luck
to destroy a history book.
31
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:28,454
You mean, bad luck like when
you open an umbrella indoors?
32
00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:33,392
Worse. Bad luck
like jilting a Mafia princess.
33
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,296
ALF, that is just silly.
34
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:38,664
[fire crackling]
35
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,966
[screams]
36
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,769
June bug flambe, anyone?
37
00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:47,206
[theme music]
38
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,470
[music continues]
39
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,133
[instrumental music]
40
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:54,773
My history book is history.
41
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,176
My life is history.
42
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:59,545
I'm an accursed Melmacian.
43
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,880
I belong in the realm of the..
44
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:04,082
...gosh darned.
45
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,686
"Gosh darned?"
46
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:10,489
Ours was a polite society.
47
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:14,092
That fire wasn't the result
of any curse.
48
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:17,229
How do you explain
the timing of that disaster?
49
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:18,931
It's been a couple of hours
since your last one.
50
00:03:18,933 --> 00:03:20,799
You were due.
51
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,434
It's the curse!
52
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,002
It was a coincidence.
53
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,371
Oh, yeah?
That's an electric stove.
54
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,775
They're not usually
prone to fires.
55
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:32,711
You must have spilled grease
on it when you were sauteing.
56
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:35,581
You miss my point!
57
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:36,782
[gasps]
58
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:41,753
My hand is impaled on a fork.
59
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,655
Oh!
60
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:47,359
I don't get it. Why is it
bad luck to burn a history book?
61
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:51,096
Because Melmacians have
a great respect for books.
62
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,265
If you destroy a history book
63
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,866
you cheat future generations
64
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:57,569
out of knowledge of the past.
65
00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,372
That's rather deep
for a planet whose motto was
66
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:03,108
"Are you going to finish
that sandwich."
67
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:07,713
Hey, I don't make fun
of your stupid planet.
68
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:10,449
Electoral college.
69
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:13,452
How long is this curse thing
supposed to last?
70
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:16,154
I'm looking at
seven years of bad luck
71
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:17,689
followed by seven years
72
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:21,059
of really bad luck.
73
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:23,362
[instrumental music]
74
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:25,364
[thudding]
75
00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:28,834
Not again.
76
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:29,968
(ALF)
Oh!
77
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,670
- Oh!
- ALF?
78
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,105
Are you alright?
79
00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:35,774
Oh, about as well as I was
the other four times
80
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:39,311
I fell down the attic stairs.
81
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,680
Well, you've been so quiet
for the last hour or so
82
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:45,784
I thought maybe you were
over this bad-luck thing.
83
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,219
I was unconscious.
84
00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:49,454
I hit my head on a rafter.
85
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:54,593
Relax, dad.
In 14 years, it'll all be over.
86
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:56,762
Oh, he's just being careless.
87
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,330
I am not!
88
00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:01,133
I'm accursed!
89
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:03,935
You ever heard the saying,
"Superstition is the religion
90
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:06,571
of feeble minds?"
91
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,807
Sounds good to me.
92
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:09,875
[knocking on door]
93
00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:10,909
(Jake)
'It's me!'
94
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,577
Oh, come on in, Jake!
95
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,012
[door opens and closes]
96
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,648
Hi, ALF, I heard about
your run of bad luck.
97
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,716
How ya doin'?
98
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:20,118
Ah! Ah.
99
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,087
Fine, until you touched
100
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:25,023
where Willie's
trophy collection fell on me.
101
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,159
You broke my trophies?
102
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:28,794
Just the Math Club trophy.
103
00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:31,196
The Science Club trophy is fine.
104
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:34,099
[clanging]
Will you be careful?
105
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,068
I am being careful!
106
00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:38,337
This thing
is bigger than all of us.
107
00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:39,838
Isn't there anything you can do
108
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,573
to stop all this curse stuff?
109
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:45,410
Well, there was one thing
I could've done back on Melmac.
110
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:48,780
- What?
- The bibliocide ritual.
111
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:52,117
Basically, it's a ceremony
where I ask atonement
112
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,920
in front of people wearing meat.
113
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,521
Meat?
114
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,857
Meat.
115
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,392
Well, why don't we do that?
116
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:03,462
One reason comes
almost immediately to mind.
117
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,732
We can't do it, anyway.
118
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,735
The accursed person
has to stand in the light
119
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:12,604
of a green full moon.
120
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:15,073
Isn't there anything else
you can do?
121
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,808
Wait it out.
122
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:20,011
- For 14 years?
- Yeah.
123
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,347
Boy, am I gonna be
hard to live with.
124
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:25,417
Come on, ALF, I'll buy you
a peanut butter sandwich.
125
00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:29,121
Okay, as long as you know
the Heimlich maneuver.
126
00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:34,259
Dad..
127
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:35,994
...we have to help him.
128
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,496
He's only having bad luck
129
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:40,465
because he thinks
he's going to have bad luck.
130
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,134
He'll get over it.
131
00:06:42,136 --> 00:06:45,670
Maybe we could make him think
that he's gonna have good luck.
132
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:48,373
[shattering]
133
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:51,476
(ALF)
'Remove it slowly.'
134
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:54,880
- Lynn?
- Hmm?
135
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,548
Never have aliens.
136
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,520
[instrumental music]
137
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:09,394
¶ Nobody knows ¶
138
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:12,597
¶ The trouble I've seen ¶
139
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,000
¶ Nobody knows ¶
140
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:18,804
¶ My sorrow ¶
141
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:20,939
¶ Nobody knows ¶¶
142
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,375
Um, ALF?
143
00:07:23,377 --> 00:07:26,344
Is this what all that
hammering was about?
144
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:31,817
Yes. This is my home
for the next 14 years.
145
00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:33,552
What happened?
146
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:37,456
Oh, the roof fell on my head
while I was installing it.
147
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,357
And I slammed my hand
in the door
148
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:42,294
when I locked myself up.
149
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:43,929
Not to mention
the several hundred
150
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,163
splinters I got
151
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:48,433
building the gosh darned thing.
152
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,569
- Ours was a polite--
- 'We know.'
153
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:51,770
We know.
154
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:55,006
ALF...come on.
155
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,074
Come on out.
156
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,175
I can't.
157
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,144
Do you feel safer in there?
158
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,713
No. I sprained my ankle.
159
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,116
We want to cure you.
160
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:07,152
We have an idea that might work.
Right, dad?
161
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,488
Yeah, we do. Sure do.
162
00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:12,390
Um, we-we'll cancel out
your curse.
163
00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:14,259
All you have to do
is do something
164
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,695
that's considered lucky
on Earth.
165
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:19,731
This idea sounds
rather far-fetched.
166
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:23,902
Well, fine.
See you in 14 years, pal.
167
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,704
Well, alright, alright!
168
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:28,807
Maybe your idea's more
nearly-fetched than I thought.
169
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,545
[scrapes]
170
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:37,516
Make that several hundred
and one splinters.
171
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:40,151
Uh!
172
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:44,122
- Here, take this.
- Salt?
173
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,157
On our planet,
it's lucky to throw salt
174
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,126
over your shoulder.
175
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,095
- Ow!
- Sorry.
176
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:51,496
[grunts]
177
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,167
Throw the salt..
178
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:58,236
...not the saltshaker.
179
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,171
But I always throw the shaker.
180
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,274
And what do I always say?
181
00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:05,443
"Don't throw the shaker."
182
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:07,979
Maybe if you do something
that's bad luck here
183
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,781
it'll cancel out your bad luck.
184
00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:11,082
Oh, come on, Lynn.
185
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,117
Sounds good to me.
186
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,152
Come on, let's try it.
187
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:21,660
It's bad luck
to break a mirror.
188
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,794
Give it a shot.
189
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,899
[glass shattering]
190
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,035
Do you feel any luckier?
191
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,369
No.
192
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:34,472
This was Kate's mirror.
193
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:38,276
Well, here. Here, try this.
194
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,211
I can't break that.
195
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:41,479
Just walk underneath it.
196
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:44,716
That's also considered
bad luck here.
197
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,384
Well, okay.
198
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:47,986
[crunching]
Oh! Ow!
199
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,654
- Ow! Ow! Ow!
- What's wrong?
200
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:51,590
Oh, I stepped
on a piece of broken glass!
201
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:52,624
Are you alright?
202
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,492
Well, the glass
doesn't hurt much
203
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:57,395
but the salt
that's seeping into the wound
204
00:09:57,397 --> 00:10:00,231
hurts like
a martian head noogie.
205
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,700
[groans]
206
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:04,502
- I'll get you a bandage.
- Good idea.
207
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:06,438
I was getting tired
of falling down the stairs
208
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,839
every time I needed one.
209
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:08,873
[Willie groaning]
210
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,041
[thudding]
211
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,943
Uh-h-h.
212
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:12,978
Oh.
213
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,012
[instrumental music]
214
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,246
Ah.
215
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,854
- Does it still hurt?
- No, no.
216
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,356
Only when you laugh, right?
217
00:10:24,358 --> 00:10:26,558
[chuckles]
Yeah.
218
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,928
What happened?
219
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:32,163
(ALF)
Willie's dead!
220
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,798
(Willie)
I'm not dead.
221
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,533
Dad fell down the stairs.
222
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,636
Are you sure you don't want me
to call a doctor?
223
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:40,739
No, no, I'm just
a little shook up.
224
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,807
- Okay.
- Don't listen to him.
225
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,609
He's dead!
226
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,311
I think that
falling down the stairs
227
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,913
has affected you.
228
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:50,382
No, it hasn't.
229
00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:52,784
But this is
what I feared the most.
230
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:53,985
What?
231
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,520
In severe cases
232
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:57,422
the bad luck spreads to people
233
00:10:57,424 --> 00:11:00,792
the accursed one
comes in contact with.
234
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,560
It's starting.
235
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:05,397
Nothing is starting.
236
00:11:05,399 --> 00:11:07,599
I fell down the stairs
237
00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:10,935
because I had salt in my eyes.
238
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:13,772
Now, I don't wanna hear
anything more about this curse.
239
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,774
[TV crackling]
240
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:20,512
I won't say a word.
241
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,916
[instrumental music]
242
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:28,853
[instrumental music]
243
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:36,895
Hurry up.
I'm missing my show.
244
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:39,064
How's the picture?
245
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,965
Perfecto.
246
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:43,635
Then I guess it was
just a short in the plug.
247
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:46,104
Try to get a grip
on reality, Jake.
248
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,405
It wasn't the plug.
249
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,641
I'm cursed.
250
00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:50,875
What are you watchin'?
251
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,077
That TV shrink.
252
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:55,413
The one who helps viewers
cope with their problems.
253
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:57,549
Well, is he any good?
254
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,484
He's on channel 129.
255
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,019
You be the judge.
256
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:05,423
[telephone ringing]
257
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,325
Hello, welcome to "Video Couch."
258
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:08,626
And you are?
259
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,562
Do I have to give my name?
260
00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:11,930
I don't want
my friends and neighbors
261
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,131
hearing about this.
262
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,967
It would help
if I could call you something.
263
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,836
Okay. Willie Tanner.
264
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:21,439
How can I help you, Willie?
265
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,074
I'm a visitor in your country
266
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,710
and I did something
that in my homeland
267
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,712
brings a person bad luck.
268
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,314
The only way to shake it off
269
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:31,483
is for me to do
a certain ritual.
270
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:33,551
But people think I'm crazy.
271
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:37,055
Uh, Willie,
immigrants often have trouble
272
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,990
assimilating into a new culture.
273
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,693
If you feel you must
do this ritual, go ahead.
274
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:43,728
I can't!
275
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,965
Uh, see the things I need
for this are far, far away
276
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,299
in my galaxy.
277
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,602
Uh, my-my part of the galaxy.
278
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:53,438
Uh, our galaxy, Yonkers.
279
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:57,475
Perhaps you'd feel better if you
carried a good luck charm.
280
00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:01,880
You mean, like a Tupperware lid
or a mouse?
281
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,282
Well, whatever's appropriate
in your country.
282
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,717
I tried that.
283
00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:08,987
But my bad luck
is only getting worse.
284
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,456
- How's that, Willie?
- It's spreading.
285
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,824
See, people I come
in contact with
286
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:15,794
are having bad luck
and getting hurt too.
287
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,162
And you think you have the power
288
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:20,331
to affect other people's lives
this way?
289
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,534
[crashing]
290
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,438
We'll take our next call.
291
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:32,744
I guess I shouldn't expect
too much from a cable quack.
292
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,215
What did you do to your hand,
Mr. Tanner?
293
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:39,384
Oh, nothing.
294
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:40,585
That does it.
295
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,320
It's too dangerous for you guys
296
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,055
to have me around.
297
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,323
You're gonna have to move.
298
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,458
We're not going anywhere.
299
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,160
Wait, ALF,
I was thinkin'.
300
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:52,230
Why can't we at least
try to do your ritual here?
301
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:53,765
- How?
- Well, uh..
302
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,667
There is a full moon tonight.
303
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:58,136
But it has to be a green moon..
304
00:13:58,138 --> 00:13:59,871
...like Melmac's.
305
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:02,173
But you showed us pictures
of your planet's moon.
306
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,408
It's not green.
307
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:04,609
Well, it was when certain
308
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:07,212
atmospheric conditions
were right
309
00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:10,682
or when someone threw up on it.
310
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,116
Um, we could fake it,
you know, uh
311
00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:16,187
have everybody
wear green sunglasses.
312
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,389
Jake, you're a genius!
313
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,925
Plus, you've got
good fashion sense.
314
00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:24,462
Now, I just need five people
to witness the ceremony
315
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:25,997
and to wear meat.
316
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:32,303
I'm not wearing meat.
317
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:33,738
Please?
318
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,609
I have to draw
the line somewhere
319
00:14:37,611 --> 00:14:40,979
and I choose to draw it
at the wearing of meat.
320
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:45,083
¶ I'll whine till you give in ¶¶
321
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,887
You know, Mr. Tanner,
it might help..
322
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:51,990
Think about the baby.
323
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,659
You want me
acting like this around it?
324
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:56,828
Huh, I couldn't live with myself
325
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:59,797
if anything happened
to little ALF Tanner.
326
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,769
Alright.
327
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:09,807
Yes! He's going to wear meat!
328
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:11,876
What kind of meat
are we talking about here?
329
00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:14,545
Uh, pork, veal,
whatever you prefer.
330
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:16,547
Uh, but no spam.
331
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,552
I'll wear meat.
332
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:26,124
Why do we have to wear meat
in this ritual, anyway?
333
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:30,561
Because the high priest
on Melmac was also a butcher.
334
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,632
[instrumental music]
335
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:41,873
Did all Melmacian rituals
involve wearing meat?
336
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:44,509
Yeah, unless they
took place on a Friday.
337
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,978
Then we wore fish.
338
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:49,681
How long
does this ceremony take?
339
00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:51,182
Not long. Why?
340
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:53,918
These steaks
are getting a little gamy.
341
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,692
No pictures, please.
342
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:05,029
I feel like an idiot.
343
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,765
Come on, dad.
This is very serious to ALF.
344
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,434
I don't think
we should put him down
345
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:10,802
just because
we don't understand
346
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:13,237
the nuances of his culture.
347
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:17,775
No matter how incredibly stupid
those nuances may seem.
348
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:20,311
Hey, Lynn, how do I look?
349
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,580
A1.
350
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,382
Brian, hurry up!
351
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,217
We're about to start!
352
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:30,021
Okay, what is it exactly
you want us to do, ALF?
353
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:32,123
Basically, just be witnesses
354
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:36,294
while I apologize
for my misdeed.
355
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:38,262
And we have to wear this, right?
356
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:42,266
Because if I find out later
that this wasn't necessary--
357
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:45,069
- It is! It is!
- Uh-huh.
358
00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:48,573
Okay, now start pouring
this gravy in your hair.
359
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:49,774
(Lynn)
ALF!
360
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,776
Alright, that part is optional.
361
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:55,446
I'm just trying
to make this fun, people.
362
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,682
Don't.
363
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,251
Is my hot dog on straight?
364
00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:02,754
You look fine, honey.
365
00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,389
It is now time
366
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:06,858
to begin the bibliocide ritual.
367
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,193
Everyone put on your shades.
368
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:16,034
Does the moon look green?
369
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:20,171
Everything looks green.
Get on with it.
370
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,706
Okay.
371
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:28,713
"There once was a girl
from Nantucket who.."
372
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,748
Oops. Wrong ceremony.
373
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:35,820
Could you hurry it up?
Some of us are spoiling.
374
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:38,056
Okay, okay.
375
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:43,694
Is it just me
or is it dark out here?
376
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,164
Get this over with.
377
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:47,532
Aye aye.
378
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:50,234
(Trevor)
'Hey, Tanner,
have you seen Jake?'
379
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:53,304
Oh, great! My bad luck's
changing for the worse!
380
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:54,872
(Willie)
ALF, hide.
381
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:02,980
Hi, Mr. Ochmonek.
382
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:07,118
Am I interrupting anything?
383
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,887
I don't think so. No.
384
00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:15,426
Why are you
wearing sunglasses at night..
385
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,828
...and meat?
386
00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:18,296
Because I want to.
387
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:23,734
We want to, also.
388
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:25,069
I don't.
389
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,307
We-we're, heh heh..
390
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,642
- We're having a barbecue.
- Yeah.
391
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,744
And you're cooking
with body heat?
392
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:36,080
No, just thawing.
393
00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:40,518
Trevor, haven't you ever
wanted to let your hair down
394
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,153
and slap on a flank steak?
395
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:46,023
I always thought about it.
396
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:48,126
I mean,
everybody's thought about it.
397
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:53,498
Well, gosh,
live a little, Trev, hmm.
398
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,334
I'll do that.
399
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,673
Can we please get this
400
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:05,109
goofy ceremony over with?
401
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,010
Goofy?
402
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:07,512
The destruction of history
403
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,847
is not to be taken lightly.
404
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,782
Those who cannot
remember the past
405
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:15,286
are condemned to repeat it,
you know?
406
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,287
I, I'm sorry, ALF.
407
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:18,623
I didn't mean
to belittle your ritual.
408
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,491
Please...begin.
409
00:19:27,901 --> 00:19:30,635
"You put your right foot in.
410
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,136
Put your right foot out."
411
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:33,871
¶ You put your right foot in ¶
412
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,606
¶ And you shake it all about ¶
413
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:36,641
¶ You do the hokeypokey-- ¶¶
414
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,910
Hold it! Hold it!
415
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:44,248
This is part of the ritual?
416
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:47,518
No, but I always thought
it should be.
417
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,554
Stick with the main text.
418
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:52,223
Okay. Okay.
419
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,057
Gee.
420
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:55,259
[crickets chirping]
421
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,232
Sorry about the book.
422
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:06,671
That's it?
423
00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:09,774
Uh-huh. Let's eat.
424
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:13,144
- That's...it?
- Yes.
425
00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:15,846
I mean, it's not like
I killed somebody.
426
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:18,249
We went through all this
427
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:20,918
just for,
"Sorry about the book?"
428
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,988
Hey, a ceremony
doesn't have to be long
429
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,556
to be effective.
430
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,391
A Melmacian wedding consists
431
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:28,426
of a preacher saying
432
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:31,495
"You're hitched.
Go for it, babe."
433
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,234
Now Trevor's coming back.
434
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,402
Oh! Man!
435
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:39,237
[gate opens]
436
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:40,471
I'm sorry to bother you again
437
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:43,107
but can I just
get a shot of this?
438
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:44,175
Why?
439
00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:45,676
Raquel went shopping
and she's never
440
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,111
gonna believe this.
441
00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:49,413
Everybody scrunch together, hmm?
442
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:53,417
'Alright.'
443
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,419
[camera clicks]
444
00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:59,090
I'll get you some wallet size.
445
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,661
He's gone, ALF.
446
00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:05,563
Do you feel
any luckier?
447
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:09,200
I don't know. Jake, flip a coin.
448
00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:10,234
Okay.
449
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,307
- Aren't you gonna call it?
- No.
450
00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:19,443
It didn't hit me in the eye,
so my luck is back.
451
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:20,945
Ah! Hey!
452
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,313
¶ You put your right foot in ¶
453
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:23,948
¶ You put your right foot out ¶
454
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,349
¶ You put your right foot in ¶
455
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:26,284
Everybody!
456
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,085
¶ And you shake it all about ¶
457
00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:29,654
¶ You do the hokeypokey ¶
458
00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:31,389
¶ And you turn yourself around ¶
459
00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:33,491
¶ That's what it's all about ¶¶
460
00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:36,861
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Where is everybody?
461
00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:39,063
[instrumental music]
462
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,932
[instrumental music]
463
00:21:44,370 --> 00:21:45,436
(Jake)
I call.
464
00:21:50,043 --> 00:21:52,109
- Another royal flush?
- Oh, what?
465
00:21:52,111 --> 00:21:53,911
- 'Man!'
- I'm embarrassed.
466
00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:56,047
I truly am embarrassed.
467
00:21:56,049 --> 00:21:58,215
Hah! I can't believe my luck!
468
00:21:58,217 --> 00:22:01,118
Someone get me a racing form.
469
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:04,021
- I'm busted.
- That's okay, Brian.
470
00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:08,192
You wouldn't have
liked college, anyway. Hah!
471
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:11,362
ALF, are you sure you're playing
exactly by the rules?
472
00:22:11,364 --> 00:22:13,731
I'm not cheating. I told you.
473
00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:17,001
Once a person is released
from the bad luck curse
474
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:19,136
he enjoys a period of good luck.
475
00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:23,007
Sometimes up to three days.
476
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:25,810
[clanging]
477
00:22:25,812 --> 00:22:28,346
I said up to three days.
478
00:22:29,649 --> 00:22:31,649
[instrumental music]
479
00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:35,219
[theme music]
480
00:23:00,747 --> 00:23:02,747
[ALF laughing]